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Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.
"What's wrong with the name 'Operation Fourth Crusade'?"
-GEORGE W. BUSH, arguing with advisors during a discussion on terminology for the war in Iraq
"Wow, this is a much easier way to find myself!"
-HENRY DAVID THOREAU, on discovering Google
"I can't say I'm happy with all the negative press it's generated against our holiday."
-THE EASTER BUNNY, on Mel Gibson's The Passion
"Just when you thought you would never get to see that spinning-camera trick again..."
-Excerpt from an ad for The Matrix Reloaded
"I invented the Internets."
"CoolMan3775: ;-)
Julie223343: ;-)"

-Excerpt from AOL-Time Warner Inc.'s new translation of Romeo and Juliet into "International Internet Language"
"As a publicity stunt this is an absolute failure."
-ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, on the decline in his media profile since he became a public servant
"Well, as it gets older, it's harder to stay straight... <snicker snicker>"
-Phallic-symbol-obsessed literary critic ROLAND DESIMBECILES, explaining the Leaning Tower of Pisa
"Like the Matrix, it is a game with rules. Some of the rules can be bent. Others can be broken."
-Computer hacker MORPHEUS, a Gore supporter, on the electoral process
"Yeah, most of the songs were put on the list because they might remind people of the attacks. But that one just annoys us."
-Clear Channel spokesperson RANDY MICHAELS, on why the "Macarena" is included in his radio company's list of "discouraged" songs
"I looked through the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog, saw all their models, and realized - hey, I don't need clothes either!"
"I think we're going to get a favorable decision. After all, expulsion from Paradise is no small matter, and to be perfectly honest, she started it."
-Lawyer ALAN DERSHOWITZ, on the class-action suit brought by his client, Man, against Woman. The suit accuses Woman of original sin and seeks $35 trillion in compensatory damages.

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