Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.
|"Wang and I no way reckless. We just try communicate using inversion technique from American training video Top Gun."
-Surviving chinese fighter pilot ZHAO YU, on his April 1st collision
|"In order to benefit both consumers and recorders, we recommend that you make the following changes: make 'girl' rhyme with 'world', and make 'baby' rhyme with 'crazy.'"
-Recording Industry Association of America president HILARY B.ROSEN, in a petition to the Oxford English Dictionary
|"In light of the finding, therefore, of the extremely negative effects of death on the world population, and, whereas, such deaths have been found to decrease said population, now, therefore..."
-Preamble to yet another ineffectual UNITED NATIONS RESOLUTION
|"Well, as it gets older, it's harder to stay straight... <snicker snicker>"
-Phallic-symbol-obsessed literary critic ROLAND DESIMBECILES, explaining the Leaning Tower of Pisa
|"I almost got the boulder to the top once. Now I have to take a
15-minute break every two hours because of these stupid union rules."
|"We realized that a corporation this large would disrupt the gravitational balance keeping Earth in
orbit and catapult us into the sun."
-MICHAEL EISNER, CEO of Disney, on the decision not to merge with Comcast
|"I don't think the media gives alternative candidates fair coverage."
-Natural Law Party candidate JOHN HAGELIN, summarizing all his qualifications and policy proposals
|"It's the stupid economy."
-BILL CLINTON, on Bush's stabilizing popularity and the apparent end to the recession in late 2003
|"One of our top concerns right now is the declining use of the word
'cowabunga' in recent years. Unless we take action, studies indicate
it will be gone by 2020."
-OTIS P. MILLICAN III, of the Institute for the Preservation of the English Language
|"The Day After Tomorrow Came Yesterday"
-Working title for the next James Bond movie
|"We felt that to have a good understanding of the disease, the reader
should be able to get a good view of what healthy breasts look like."
-Time Magazine managing editor WALTER ISAACSON, defending Time's fourth breast cancer cover of the year
|"Anyone with knives is a terrorist. Do you want us to listen to the terrorists?"
-FAA Spokesperson GREG MARTIN, defending the decision to halt all flights, even though Nathaniel Heatwole had said exactly when and where he would be hiding the knives
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