Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.
|"I stand here today because I had the courage and the resolve to visit
The Hunger Site, The Cancer Site, The Rainforest Site, The Unemployment
Site, and The Sadness Site - once each, every day, rain or
-Websurfer JERRY H. MINKELSTEIN, accepting the Humanitarian Society's "Humanitarian of the Year" award
|"It's a bird... it's Superman... it's a PLANE!"
-UNITED's new advertising slogan
|"There's probably a few months left before we conquer terrorism. At that point, we'll probably move on to corruption, and by 2004 we should be done with perversion."
-Secretary of State COLIN POWELL, on his plans for future campaigns
|"The Day After Tomorrow Came Yesterday"
-Working title for the next James Bond movie
|"Thou Shalt Not Display The Ten Commandments."
-Upcoming SUPREME COURT ruling
|"I wholeheartedly support every single decision George W. Bush has made
-Former Vice President AL GORE, just to see if anyone is listening
|"I ask only this: do you have more support for me today than you did four
-GEORGE W. BUSH on the 2004 campaign trail
|"Every safe landing is another victory against terrorism. There's nothing wrong with a little gloating."
-United Airlines spokesperson VERONICA TEDIO, on United's new post-flight song: QUEEN's "We Are The Champions"
|"This book is fantastic! It really helped me stop lying."
-DAVID FJORDSEN, as quoted on the back of 101 Ways to Cure Yourself of Pathological Lying
|"We understand that the Olympics are not what they once were, and we would like to restore them to their former glory and high ratings."
-A representative from NBC, on the station's proposal to bring back the ancient Olympic tradition of having athletes compete naked
|"Now pay attention, 007. What I have here may seem like an ordinary piece of wood. But it contains a sophisticated hand-operated hinging mechanism that allows its operator to pass through walls unscathed. However,anyone who does not follow the proper procedure will find themselves shut outside and quite a bit bruised."
-Product developer Q, of MI6, on his front door
|"They hate Americans because we're free, right? I figure, this will change that."
-Attorney General JOHN ASHCROFT, defending his proposals for extended FBI powers
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