Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.
| "The real trick to winning a race is to do one good lap and loop the
footage, instead of driving the whole race." -NASCAR driver JEFF GORDON, explaining his string of recent victories |
"All I can say is, Napster should be illegal. I put my heart and soul into a song like '... Baby One More Time,' and some little punk can just grab it and use it for her own gain!" -Songwriter MAX MARTIN, on Britney Spears |
| "PORN!!" -Every improv comedy audience ever asked to name a movie genre |
"Playing a Nazi is really going to expand my repertoire. I felt for a
while like I was getting typecast." -Actor GOOFY, on his upcoming role as Heinrich Himmler in Remembering the Holocaust |
| "I don't watch TV, so it doesn't matter to me what happens in Iraq." -Lazy voter BRAD CHAPIN |
"This book is fantastic! It really helped me stop lying." -DAVID FJORDSEN, as quoted on the back of 101 Ways to Cure Yourself of Pathological Lying |
| "Yeah, 'Killing Me Softly With His Song' was a big hit, but for some reason the follow-up hasn't been selling as well." -Former Fugees' lead singer LAURYN HILL, on her new single, "Killing Me Hard With His Guitar |
"What? It's a compromise, isn't it?" -Politician KENT SWEENEY, defending his proposal to make abortion legal only in the case that the fetus is a convicted murderer |
| "We understand that the Olympics are not what they once were, and we would like to restore them to their former glory and high ratings." -A representative from NBC, on the station's proposal to bring back the ancient Olympic tradition of having athletes compete naked |
"I forgot what I was going to say." -Senator STROM THURMOND, explaining his position on campaign finance reform |
| "So what if he negotiates peace in the Middle East? He's just trying to save his legacy." -Senator PHIL GRAMM, on Bill Clinton |
"Yes, it's a tough job, but after Saddam was caught, someone had to take over as the enemy of
America." -MARTHA STEWART |