Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.
|"Well, what were we supposed to do? Not assassinate them?"
-WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE explaining why the killing of Qusay and Uday Hussein did not violate President Ford's 1976 Executive Order forbidding political assassinations
|"In order to benefit both consumers and recorders, we recommend that you make the following changes: make 'girl' rhyme with 'world', and make 'baby' rhyme with 'crazy.'"
-Recording Industry Association of America president HILARY B.ROSEN, in a petition to the Oxford English Dictionary
|"But if we don't eat the deep-fried bacon-cheese-'n'-butter-loaded
potato fritters dipped in the savory sausage ranch sauce, who will?"
-Overweight American BUBBA PINKERTON, on recent concerns about widespread obesity
|"We realized that a corporation this large would disrupt the gravitational balance keeping Earth in
orbit and catapult us into the sun."
-MICHAEL EISNER, CEO of Disney, on the decision not to merge with Comcast
|"They're 'organic' - they must be good for you."
-BOREALIS ORGANICS on their new organic-tobacco cigarettes
|"VOTE or DIE!!"
-HURRICANE JEANNE, conducting its own voter-mobilization campaign
|"I forgot what I was going to say."
-Senator STROM THURMOND, explaining his position on campaign finance reform
|"This book is fantastic! It really helped me stop lying."
-DAVID FJORDSEN, as quoted on the back of 101 Ways to Cure Yourself of Pathological Lying
-Excerpt from AOL-Time Warner Inc.'s new translation of Romeo and Juliet into "International Internet Language"
|"I did it!"
-Yankees fan JOE ZIROLI, on his team's victory
|"What's wrong with the name 'Operation Fourth Crusade'?"
-GEORGE W. BUSH, arguing with advisors during a discussion on terminology for the war in Iraq
|"... one nation, under God, or gods, or no god, or Goddess, or possibly Satan, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
-new version of the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
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