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Overheard

Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.
"In order to benefit both consumers and recorders, we recommend that you make the following changes: make 'girl' rhyme with 'world', and make 'baby' rhyme with 'crazy.'"
-Recording Industry Association of America president HILARY B.ROSEN, in a petition to the Oxford English Dictionary
"Boom! Crash, bang! U.S.A.!"
-Secretary of Defense DONALD RUMSFELD, when asked to detail the military objectives of bombing Afghanistan
"This just in... the FBI has linked the Beltway Sniper to the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa, the bombing of the USS Cole, and global warming."
-News anchor TOM BROKAW
"I forgot what I was going to say."
-Senator STROM THURMOND, explaining his position on campaign finance reform
"It's the stupid economy."
-BILL CLINTON, on Bush's stabilizing popularity and the apparent end to the recession in late 2003
"Aaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaa."
-Consumer advocate and Green Party nominee RALPH NADER, to his dentist
"It's a pleasant wine, with a Ramen-like aroma and subtle hints of Twinkie, Handi-Snacks, and Dunkaroos."
-The review for which noted wine taster JACQUES DE COCHON was fired
"I demand a recount!"
-A joke YOU could make anytime anyone counts anything. Please don't.
"Well, you see, the terrorists are opposed to freedom. So I'm opposed to the opposite of freedom: work."
-GEORGE W. BUSH, defending the jobless recovery
"We beat their prices, guaranteed."
-The desperate pitch of a LIBRARY next door to a bookstore
"We understand that the Olympics are not what they once were, and we would like to restore them to their former glory and high ratings."
-A representative from NBC, on the station's proposal to bring back the ancient Olympic tradition of having athletes compete naked
"We felt that to have a good understanding of the disease, the reader should be able to get a good view of what healthy breasts look like."
-Time Magazine managing editor WALTER ISAACSON, defending Time's fourth breast cancer cover of the year

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