Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.
|"Just when you thought you would never get to see that spinning-camera
-Excerpt from an ad for The Matrix Reloaded
|"The Day After Tomorrow Came Yesterday"
-Working title for the next James Bond movie
|"Every computer user knows that when something goes wrong, you just restart."
-Microsoft chairman BILL GATES, on his company's court strategy
|"With divorce rates as they are, we figured a little truth in advertising
-TONY KENDALL, on his company's new slogan: "A Cubic Zirconium Is For Long Enough"
|"This moment is so much bigger than me. This moment is for Mel Gibson,
Paul Hogan, Yahoo Serious, and every nameless, faceless Australian that
now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened."
-Actor RUSSELL CROWE, in his Academy Award acceptance speech
-Every improv comedy audience ever asked to name a movie genre
|"Two cords of wood a day. Now leave me alone."
|"I almost got the boulder to the top once. Now I have to take a
15-minute break every two hours because of these stupid union rules."
|"We're going to make the Grinch come alive. The greed, the contempt for simple pleasures, the obsession with material wealth -- we're going to make it all seem almost real."
-Studio executive TODD HALLOWELL, explaining why How The Grinch Stole Christmas will be a box office blockbuster
|"I don't watch TV, so it doesn't matter to me what happens in Iraq."
-Lazy voter BRAD CHAPIN
|"What are we accomplishing through all this multiple-choice standardized testing? Simple: future citizens will be able to fill in a ballot correctly."
-Florida governor JEB BUSH
|"Iím really excited. I think it's really going to make a splash in the movie world."
-Actress JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT, on her upcoming movie, You May Have Thought I Finally Forgot What You Did Last Summer, but in Fact I Wrote it Down in a Handy Little Organizer and Put it in a Safe Place and Now I'm Back and No Matter How Many Times I Forget, I Can Check and Still Remember
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