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Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.
"Well, what were we supposed to do? Not assassinate them?"
-WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE explaining why the killing of Qusay and Uday Hussein did not violate President Ford's 1976 Executive Order forbidding political assassinations
"In order to benefit both consumers and recorders, we recommend that you make the following changes: make 'girl' rhyme with 'world', and make 'baby' rhyme with 'crazy.'"
-Recording Industry Association of America president HILARY B.ROSEN, in a petition to the Oxford English Dictionary
"But if we don't eat the deep-fried bacon-cheese-'n'-butter-loaded potato fritters dipped in the savory sausage ranch sauce, who will?"
-Overweight American BUBBA PINKERTON, on recent concerns about widespread obesity
"We realized that a corporation this large would disrupt the gravitational balance keeping Earth in orbit and catapult us into the sun."
-MICHAEL EISNER, CEO of Disney, on the decision not to merge with Comcast
"They're 'organic' - they must be good for you."
-BOREALIS ORGANICS on their new organic-tobacco cigarettes
"VOTE or DIE!!"
-HURRICANE JEANNE, conducting its own voter-mobilization campaign
"I forgot what I was going to say."
-Senator STROM THURMOND, explaining his position on campaign finance reform
"This book is fantastic! It really helped me stop lying."
-DAVID FJORDSEN, as quoted on the back of 101 Ways to Cure Yourself of Pathological Lying
"CoolMan3775: ;-)
Julie223343: ;-)"

-Excerpt from AOL-Time Warner Inc.'s new translation of Romeo and Juliet into "International Internet Language"
"I did it!"
-Yankees fan JOE ZIROLI, on his team's victory
"What's wrong with the name 'Operation Fourth Crusade'?"
-GEORGE W. BUSH, arguing with advisors during a discussion on terminology for the war in Iraq
"... one nation, under God, or gods, or no god, or Goddess, or possibly Satan, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
-new version of the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

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