SWIFT Overheard

Overheard

Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.

"How about eight? Maybe eight wrongs make a right."
-MICHAEL JACKSON "On the other hand, if I just publish my shopping lists for the last decade, my expected profits drop to... $800 billion."
-Author J. K. ROWLING, considering the plot of her next Harry Potter book
"Where do you think the party gets its Green?"
-AL GORE, speculating that Republicans are paying Nader to run again "I wholeheartedly support every single decision George W. Bush has made as President."
-Former Vice President AL GORE, just to see if anyone is listening
"But if we don't eat the deep-fried bacon-cheese-'n'-butter-loaded potato fritters dipped in the savory sausage ranch sauce, who will?"
-Overweight American BUBBA PINKERTON, on recent concerns about widespread obesity "Anyone with knives is a terrorist. Do you want us to listen to the terrorists?"
-FAA Spokesperson GREG MARTIN, defending the decision to halt all flights, even though Nathaniel Heatwole had said exactly when and where he would be hiding the knives
"Now pay attention, 007. What I have here may seem like an ordinary piece of wood. But it contains a sophisticated hand-operated hinging mechanism that allows its operator to pass through walls unscathed. However,anyone who does not follow the proper procedure will find themselves shut outside and quite a bit bruised."
-Product developer Q, of MI6, on his front door "I googled 'Shuffleboard'! How in the world were my first 50 results porn sites?"
-Shuffleboard enthusiast NED CRANDALL
"They're just not doing it."
-NIKE, refusing to allow its swoosh to appear on Detroit Tigers uniforms "Yeah... we told Rumsfeld that if we get a royal flush, we get to invade Syria."
-GEORGE W. BUSH, on the Iraqi most-wanted playing cards
"Today will be partly cloudy with a 30 percent chance of rain and a 40 percent chance of terrorism."
-Weatherman JOE SHORTSLEEVE "This bacon was made from pigs that were real jerks."
-HORMEL's new animal-rights-friendly label

Show All Quotes

"How about eight? Maybe eight wrongs make a right." -MICHAEL JACKSON	"On the other hand, if I just publish my shopping lists for the last decade, my expected profits drop to... $800 billion." -Author J. K. ROWLING, considering the plot of her next Harry Potter book
"Where do you think the party gets its Green?" -AL GORE, speculating that Republicans are paying Nader to run again	"I wholeheartedly support every single decision George W. Bush has made as President." -Former Vice President AL GORE, just to see if anyone is listening
"But if we don't eat the deep-fried bacon-cheese-'n'-butter-loaded potato fritters dipped in the savory sausage ranch sauce, who will?" -Overweight American BUBBA PINKERTON, on recent concerns about widespread obesity	"Anyone with knives is a terrorist. Do you want us to listen to the terrorists?" -FAA Spokesperson GREG MARTIN, defending the decision to halt all flights, even though Nathaniel Heatwole had said exactly when and where he would be hiding the knives
"Now pay attention, 007. What I have here may seem like an ordinary piece of wood. But it contains a sophisticated hand-operated hinging mechanism that allows its operator to pass through walls unscathed. However,anyone who does not follow the proper procedure will find themselves shut outside and quite a bit bruised." -Product developer Q, of MI6, on his front door	*"I googled 'Shuffleboard'! How in the world* were my first 50 results porn sites?"** -Shuffleboard enthusiast NED CRANDALL
"They're just not doing it." -NIKE, refusing to allow its swoosh to appear on Detroit Tigers uniforms	"Yeah... we told Rumsfeld that if we get a royal flush, we get to invade Syria." -GEORGE W. BUSH, on the Iraqi most-wanted playing cards
"Today will be partly cloudy with a 30 percent chance of rain and a 40 percent chance of terrorism." -Weatherman JOE SHORTSLEEVE	"This bacon was made from pigs that were real jerks." -HORMEL's new animal-rights-friendly label