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Overheard

Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.
"We've had some trouble with converting French francs; a lot of them just burst into flame rather than mingle with euros."
-European Central Bank President WILLEM F. DUISENBERG
"Now we're going to cut to the Chevrolet Rabbit Cam... I think that if you look closely you'll be able to see Allen Iverson's foot pass by."
-MARV ALBERT, introducing a useful new camera angle to the NBA playoffs
"Dear Diary: 12 people read you yesterday, and some even gave comments! I'm so embarrassed - this is personal!"
-Blogger ERIN MATTHEWS, not quite getting the point
"I invented the Internets."
-GEORGE W. BUSH
"On the other hand, if I just publish my shopping lists for the last decade, my expected profits drop to... $800 billion."
-Author J. K. ROWLING, considering the plot of her next Harry Potter book
"Yeah... we told Rumsfeld that if we get a royal flush, we get to invade Syria."
-GEORGE W. BUSH, on the Iraqi most-wanted playing cards
"You know what you have in common with the proletariat? You’re revolting!"
-Social theorist KARL MARX, during a confrontation in a bar
"Just when you thought you would never get to see that spinning-camera trick again..."
-Excerpt from an ad for The Matrix Reloaded
"I think we're going to get a favorable decision. After all, expulsion from Paradise is no small matter, and to be perfectly honest, she started it."
-Lawyer ALAN DERSHOWITZ, on the class-action suit brought by his client, Man, against Woman. The suit accuses Woman of original sin and seeks $35 trillion in compensatory damages.
"Actually, we named our company for the amount of money we expected to get from our IPO."
-SERGEY BRIN and LARRY PAGE, founders of Google
"WE FOUND WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!! They're in Libya."
-GEORGE W. BUSH
"Merrill Lynch and Morgan Stanley engaged in questionable practices? Oh no, what if that hurts people's faith in big business?"
-Consumer CHARLENE FOSTER

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