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Note: the following quotes can be verified at this website.
"Just when you thought you would never get to see that spinning-camera trick again..."
-Excerpt from an ad for The Matrix Reloaded
"The Day After Tomorrow Came Yesterday"
-Working title for the next James Bond movie
"Every computer user knows that when something goes wrong, you just restart."
-Microsoft chairman BILL GATES, on his company's court strategy
"With divorce rates as they are, we figured a little truth in advertising wouldn't hurt."
-TONY KENDALL, on his company's new slogan: "A Cubic Zirconium Is For Long Enough"
"This moment is so much bigger than me. This moment is for Mel Gibson, Paul Hogan, Yahoo Serious, and every nameless, faceless Australian that now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened."
-Actor RUSSELL CROWE, in his Academy Award acceptance speech
-Every improv comedy audience ever asked to name a movie genre
"Two cords of wood a day. Now leave me alone."
"I almost got the boulder to the top once. Now I have to take a 15-minute break every two hours because of these stupid union rules."
"We're going to make the Grinch come alive. The greed, the contempt for simple pleasures, the obsession with material wealth -- we're going to make it all seem almost real."
-Studio executive TODD HALLOWELL, explaining why How The Grinch Stole Christmas will be a box office blockbuster
"I don't watch TV, so it doesn't matter to me what happens in Iraq."
-Lazy voter BRAD CHAPIN
"What are we accomplishing through all this multiple-choice standardized testing? Simple: future citizens will be able to fill in a ballot correctly."
-Florida governor JEB BUSH
"Iím really excited. I think it's really going to make a splash in the movie world."
-Actress JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT, on her upcoming movie, You May Have Thought I Finally Forgot What You Did Last Summer, but in Fact I Wrote it Down in a Handy Little Organizer and Put it in a Safe Place and Now I'm Back and No Matter How Many Times I Forget, I Can Check and Still Remember

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