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Swift Magazine

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Swift Magazine

Back Issues

These issues are in PDF format, which you can read and print (we recommend printing them) using the free Acrobat Reader. If you don't know if you have Acrobat, you probably do, so try clicking on the links.

Volume VII, Issue 1: November 2006

[Issue VII.1 cover]

In Issue VII.1 SWIFT examines the North Korean nuclear test from many angles, breaks new ground in the fight to defeat the enemy's narrative, and takes a look at New York City's updated terrorist defenses. We analyze the latest fronts in the War on Christmas, look into the future on global warming, and take slanted views of customer service and the Israel-Lebanon conflict. Our Modest Proposal puts forth a foolproof plan on how to win in Iraq, and our Obituaries mourn the passing of Ken Lay, Steve Irwin, and the New York Yankees.

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Volume VI, Issue 3: May 2006

[Issue VI.3 cover]

In Issue VI.3 SWIFT brings life to NASA's Mars mission, takes a peek in the Bush playbook, and gets the inside scoop on Guantanamo nightlife. We preview Budweiser's best idea since bottlecaps, and play the immigration game. We scale new and mighty food pyramids, help some kids with their book reports, make excuses for Republicans, and modestly propose a cure for divorce.

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Volume VI, Issue 2: April 2006

[Issue VI.2 cover]

In Issue VI.2 SWIFT thrusts forward the truth on stem cells, predicts the future of New Jersey, reads your genes, and covers the female chin. We chart the waters of campaign practices, tout a new line of beneficial children's books, bring a new paradigm to real estate, and sample the sour grapes of the Democrat's Wine. Our Modest Proposal explains how to contain terror while eliminating domestic surveillance qualms, and someone exclaims "All your uterus are belong to us!"

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Volume VI, Issue 1: December 2005

[Issue VI.1 cover]

In Issue VI.1 SWIFT hits out on the Tom Delay scandal, anti-depressants, the Supreme Court nomination process, Wal-Mart, and the depravity of Disney's newest release. Our modest proposal focuses on the insurance problem created in the wake of Katrina and our Obituaries celebrate the life of one of America's greatest Civil Rights leaders.

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Volume V, Issue 3: May 2005

[Issue V.3 cover]

In V.3 SWIFT takes a look at some of the perennial problems facing Americans today and takes some fair shots at the situation in Iraq, the gay marriage debate, the Patriot Act, and partisanship. In fact, we also explore the fabric of our government--the general election--and seek to revive the ailing Social Security program with a hint of spice.

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Volume V, Issue 2: February 2005

[Issue V.2 cover]In the midst of a new presidential term, SWIFT takes a look at some of the issues our society faces today including the state of the homeless, the structure of the democratic form of government, and the success of ill-informed rap phenoms. We take a look at the next four years through the eyes of Alexander and cleverly tackle the problem of America's weakening foreign relations and lethargic economy. We close the issue by saying goodbye to many who are no longer with us, including Johnny Carson and Rose Mary Woods.

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Volume V, Issue 1: October 2004

[Issue V.1 cover]Another general election is at last upon us, SWIFT has plenty to say about the electoral process, voters, candidates, and their media lackeys, with a series of mini-pieces describing a Congressional race, plus an overanalyzed interview, an anti-Bush book, and more. Our feature piece is about quick-fix legislation, and our Modest Proposal makes the Vice-Presidency desirable at last while improving on economic sanctions. This issue also introduces the Obituaries, a new regular feature.

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Volume IV, Issue 3: May 2004

[Issue IV.3 cover]We close our fourth year with the comic strip extravaganza BumperStickerMan, plus pieces on our justice system, arrogant news programs, charity fundraisers, software design, overvalued cultural artifacts, overly dramatic metaphors, economic incentives, and famous historical figures. Our Modest Proposal reconciles the dilemma of the honest journalist with the woes of the underage drinker, and our Classic is Wolcott Gibbs's "Death in the Rumble Seat."

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Volume IV, Issue 2: April 2004

[Issue IV.2 cover]With a major election season gearing up, our second issue of the year features a series of Just So-style fables mocking our electoral processes. We also target single-issue candidates and uninformed public opinion, as well as telephone-based customer service, cartoon-character movies, and more. Our Modest Proposal puts missile defense to use while increasing our mindfulness of senior citizens, and the Classic is Bertolt Brecht's "If Sharks Were Men."

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Volume IV, Issue 1: December 2003

[Issue IV.1 cover] As the Democratic primary heats up, we offer advice: a guide to the candidates for undecided voters, as well as a flowchart to success for the candidates. As the occupation in Iraq continues, we have much to say about the history and future of American foreign policy. We also target the ideal of diversity, movie reviews, and much more. Our Modest Proposal solves a variety of problems of automotive origin, and our Classic comes to us from Frederic Bastiat.

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Volume III, Issue 3: May 2003

[Issue III.3 cover] The final issue of our third year — and the last issue before our Founding Members graduate (sniff!) — addresses overpriced lingerie, science fiction, radical feminism, beer advertisements, fad diets, religions, and more. We have much to say on Iraq; we even reveal a memo to Congress advising them how to sell the upcoming war on France to the public. Our Modest Proposal solves the problems of unluxurious automobiles and the impending oil shortage, and our Classic is a specimen by H. L. Mencken.

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Volume III, Issue 2: March 2003

[Issue III.2 cover]Issue III.2 tackles the war on Iraq, Dr. Phil, prescription drug advertising, and gambling. Read our Non-American's Guide to Freedom to make sure you know how free you are, and marvel at our comic-book style piece about environmentalists who overdo it. Our Modest Proposal fixes the problems of school funding and school violence.

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Volume III, Issue 1: November 2002

[Issue III.1 cover] We open the new year by taking on political advertising, public opinion, women's magazines, insurance, white-collar crime, and charities. In our central piece, heavyweight boxer George Foreman discovers how to make pork kosher. Meanwhile, our Modest Proposal uses Girl Scout Cookies as a model for reforming the tax code, and our Classic relates Voltaire's thoughts on religion.

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Volume II, Issue 3: April 2002

[Issue II.3 cover] The last issue run by our Founding Members targets fairy tales, economic modeling, cellphones, and the Supreme Court, and introduces the sport of true heroes: Olympic Firefighting. Our Modest Proposal shows how to use the magic of standardized testing against the problem of poverty, and our Classic is a satirical fable by James Thurber.

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Volume II, Issue 2: February 2002

[Issue II.2 cover] We respond to a suddenly vigilant society with ideas of our own on how to stop those terrorists while still having fun, with a Safer Image catalogue and a proposal for an Airport Security Obstacle Course. We also have plenty of cartoons on the breaking news of Enron's collapse, and a series of illustrations to sell you on the incredible new Segway transportation device. Our Modest Proposal is optimistic that we can soon find a cure for death, and our Classic is Robert Benchley's "How to Understand International Finance."

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Volume II, Issue 1: November 2001

[Issue II.1 cover] In addition to a satirical take on the tragic events of September 11th--and the ensuing national repercussions--this issue includes pieces mocking modern art, artificial intelligence, and more. We also present an excerpt from "Political Liberalism for Dummies," in our first ever four-page spread. Our Modest Proposal anticipates the rebirth of American cultural unity through network television, and our Classic is Mark Twain's brilliant "Letter to the Earth."

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Volume I, Issue 3: May 2001

[Issue 3 cover] This issue satirizes stock market analysts, great and obscure philosophers, and of course our President, the latter in a particularly vivid "Calvin & Hobbes" style piece. Our Modest Proposal offers to end the problem of overcrowded prisons by restocking the XFL with inmates, and our Classic comes from a staple of satire, "The Devil's Dictionary" by Ambrose Bierce.

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Volume I, Issue 2: February 2001

[Issue 2 cover] Our work in the wake of Bush's controversial election victory has enough Florida humor to sate you, but unlike anyone on TV at the time, we're able to find other subjects to talk about as well. The back cover gives a good guess at how Disney would make a Vietnam movie, while pages 12-13 feature a cartoon tract on Existentialism. Our Modest Proposal vows to put our idle military to use increasing voter turnout, and our Classic is a speech on insurance by the great Mark Twain.

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Volume I, Issue 1: November 2000

[Issue 1 cover] Our first issue ever! It's election season, and we have plenty to say about both sides of the depressing choice we face. We also got a "reality TV" parody printed before the shows got so absurd exaggeration became impossible. Our very first Modest Proposal attacks the twin problem of obesity and energy loss, and our Classic author is none other than our namesake, Jonathan Swift.

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